Monday, March 17, 2014

Diary 240: Your Friends Are Your Angels

and the queen is the guardian one;0) only kidding!

this week has been out of order. i have been debating to myself wether i should say something here on my blog. and i decided that yes i will. this place is my life, my diary, my fantasy & reality.

nils horner

i do not even know where to begin. i did not know nils as the award winning journalist as a lot of others know him, i knew him as my flatmate for 5 years in new york & close friend. we did not talk much about his work until more recently, we talked about life & journeys. these past couple of years we discovered we had one passion in common, photography. when we lived together i was so young so our relationship was sort of him being my big brother, but when i moved out i had grown and our friendship became an adult one (i guess him still being an older brother though). i adored him. i took him for granted. the way you so easily do with the close ones. last year he came to dulwich and i took him to franklins. all of a sudden the swedish radio called because they needed his expert opinion about something in india sort of right he stood on a side street here speaking live w/out any preparation and gave his inside information & history about why these things were happening in india. this was the first time i ever listened to him on the radio....and i was in awe, i was proud. i was so proud that he was my friend. i had no idea about how brilliant he had become in his work. today i am so happy that i told him how proud i was. 

nils was killed in afghanistan last tuesday morning. as a journalist he was killed. and i am beyond sadness. i lost someone whom mattered deeply to me. i lost someone who has helped me through very difficult periods in my life. and why? i do not understand. he was supposed to do more brilliant things & to enjoy more wonderful parties, times with his dear ones & his family.
linda marina portman


spring is in the air thank god. jenny came and supported me. i have a new friend in takeshi, we explored dulwich last thursday. my mom came for the weekend with her female co-workers and i adore them all. sunday was spent at what i call my second home, franklins. i adore the owner, rod & the manager marie. i am very grateful to have such a cute community here in dulwich.

this is nils on one of our picnics in green park. wine, food & his cute smile = perfection.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die. 

images top to bottom: 1 the queen in kensington gardens. 2-6 beauty as captured in dulwich on my morning walks this past weekend. 7 my mom called me this morning to tell my about nils. i was at the gym. afterwards i got dressed in an outfit he would have loved and i went to toasted. they treated me to champagne and left me alone. i love them for this. 8 wednesday me and jenny met up in notting hill and wen went to this cute pub, windsor castle. 9 i love this pub but i only passed by this time, i call it the flowery pub. the churchill arms. 10 beauty in notting hill. 11 duck perfection i found while out walking with takeshi. 12 afterwards we went to toasted. he got the banana cake & i got the wine. good combination in a picture. 13 the girls:)) & mom. my mom is the one to the left and closest to the window. we had afternoon tea at the orangery in kensington gardens friday afternoon. 14-20 some of my outfits this past week. 21 yesterday at franklins. 

as someone told me a long time ago:

your friends are your angels, they lift you up.
alice, linda & violette
(poem from poem hunter)

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