Alice in Wonderland: diary 272: just because it's black in the dark; doesn't mean there's no color

hey!

how are you all? i hope you are having a joyful end of august days.

as you may know i wanna keep this little space of mine a joyful inspirational place to come visit. but to be honest right now it would be truly dishonest of me if i pretended to be filled with joy. see i have struggled with my mental health since i was a child, i am not ready just yet to say exactly what i have been/ and am still struggling with. the hardest journey i have ever been on is this one that started in feb. 2014, it had been building up over the course of a little more than one year. i started to get my life back in order in november of last year thanks to medication and therapy for a year and a half with day care in a very amazing hospital. obviously (or at least for me) there were many many practical issues i had set aside, i could only focus on staying well for the longest time. i am slowly starting to get things in order:) however, recently there has been a couple of seriously worrying stressful things happening. my medication sort of deals with all the worries and stress, but the other day my psoriasis is back. as a 6 year old to soon turn 7 i was diagnosed with this, the stress then was starting school. the little me, i feel such compassion. in the beginning i only had it on my elbows but soon it was covering my whole scalp, it was awful. so itchy which made it bleed by me scratching. i was too ashamed about this. 6-7 years later it slowly healed. and now it is back. on top of this, my gas is not working which = ice cold water. i need to take magnesium baths now to do all i can to not have this thing flare up that badly again.

so whatever i say here i am telling myself:)

on a lighter note, i have a little team behind me so i am not alone:)
paris, thank you for today!

laleh

sings

just because it's black in the dark

doesn't mean there's no color

-from her song

colors

so despite me being severely stressed and most of the times, feeling unsafe there are good moments too:) for example when i was invited for tea at my friends sue's house and to meet her beatufully furry kitty katty:))) was such a precious moment for me:) next week we are to explore charity & junk shops in crystal palace:)

meet tia:)