Wednesday, April 15, 2020


         dear friend:

how are you doing?

it has been a long time since we've met. 
and i so hope you are doing ok!?

for me it's time for an awakening, and to do that in the middle of a pandemic😲
 it might have to do with all beauty coming to life with spring, i don't know. what i do know is that i have been through much worse becoming homeless (this is a long story having to do with mental health which i hope to dare share with you one day) the fall of 2016 and not having a home where i could be ordered to stay inside, it taught me to take one day at a time. i still have trauma over those 2 months and i felt so alone, what is different now is that i have a home AND i feel part of the whole universe since we are all going through this together. i don't have my social places like my gym and ballet classes to go to so i have been all by myself for about 3 weeks now. and i can feel the pain for others whom are alone or stuck maybe in a small space with ones partner and even children (i don't know what is best be alone or to not have the change to have ones own space for a period of only word knows how long), but for me this is sort of a relief, since staying with myself is my safe space.

my thoughts is that this can be start of a new beginning💫🌸💫🌸💫 
one filled with more gratefulness and one of a more loving understanding of how we are GUESTS hon planet earth and we need to treat our mother with love & respect. to treat all other co-habitants of ours with love and respect. a world of, as the yogis say, ahimsa. there is so much i could say here but for now this is enough.

we've just had the beauty of easter happening. a sacrifice for us to live an eternal life. when understanding this fundamental; it is possible to become a new creation. a fundamental i think in all various ways of defining your own truth. 

"easter tells you that it's possible to be a new creation"
(he is the head  pastor of the church i went to on sundays when i lived in new york, redeemer where i attended the upper east side service and basically kept my head straight on what really is important in life. now i listen to their podcast "gospel in life" where i heard have been listening to his easter services)

i think in this moment in time we can ponder on being the cocoon becoming the butterfly, to when this is over we are to blossom and to be a new creation. 

to pray for all that are suffering 
to hold suffering and joy at the same time🌷
to say thanks for our breath to say yes to a better future.

here in epping finally the warmth of the sunshine kissed my cheeks and i was ready to go out and create. oh how dear i have missed you sunshine warmth!!!

my april 2020
 epping essex perfection beauty april 2020
and how to devour the gift of it just showing up just like that.

since the spring of 2014 my focus has been on telling my story through self-portraits. in 2013 a lot of sadness was going on and in all came to a "rock bottom" the 13th of february 2104. that spring i could not plan anything with anyone since i could not promise to show up, so i started my self portraits because i could let myself down if needed be. before this i mainly shot and styled models for fashion/ culture magazines and before that i worked as a fashion associate at the new york times magazine for 6 years where my whole life actually was through the lens of beautiful clothing creations. the aspiration of such beauty designed by alexander mcqueen, marc jacobs, valentino, dior etc etc devouring photography through the lens of tim walkers imagination and other such talented wonders. such a different me. i just wanted to be the dream (or maybe i am just the same still...)
here my love for vintage started though, there were such amazing vintage shops in manhattan then:))) (for me this means around 2002-2006) so come 2014, my work was still focused on sheer beauty but too to focus on sustainability focusing on only buying vintage and as years has progressed i have become more and more aware about so many things. so since april 1st (no joke😂) 2019, i have been a vegan! for our cohabitants and for our mother earth. yoga is new in my life and i try to practice ahimsa.

this is a new path.
every day my aim is to:

seek beauty
to nourish the moment

it is so important to see the beauty in this world.
it's a way of life to prosper i believe.
this is where i concentrate my work on right now this spring of 2020.

this image might be an option to work on
 my easter sunday in epping

one week earlier 

the outfit for the top image
 my easter sunday make up with the dress i wore for my day of editing.
 wearing a vintage dress that bought here in london 2015, 
a store that sadly does not exist anymore:(
a beauty in the area of spitalfields.

another outfit for my first self-portrait story created this april:)

my dear art teacher, and now my piano tutor jason rose shared this image on facebook today and oh how i wanna create this myself, 
me being all the participants of "the progress of spring"🌸🌸🌸
charles daniel ward

as of now i am to create a blogpost every 3rd week of the month and on the wednesday of that week since it is the 3rd day. three is what my whole universe surrounds upon. i am sure i will have to explain a tiny bit more in regards to this but i think for now it has been too much text already😊

i wanna leave you with this:

"i feel in this is a necessity to have a plan, a manifesto, an alternative. it's a question of life and death of our species...after tragedies one has to invent a new world, knit it or embroider, make it up. it's not gonna be given to you because you deserve it, it doesn't work that way, you have to imagine something that doesn't exist and dig a cave into the future and demand space. it's a territorial hope the future it will become your reality."

dear friend take care
see you next month


عبده العمراوى said...

شركة تنظيف شقق بالجبيل said...

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